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9 days until I see the skyline
until im 5 minutes away from the border line
between me and you
and the states tonight
you said it’s okay and that you believe in us
and that 5 steps was enough towards our goal of happiness
further than the time you said ‘it’s me
come alive and stay awhile’
further than the horizon can let us go
further than the 1 thing on your mind
i don’t know what it is
but i need to hear those 3 words with meaning
with tongue
with heart
without it being a possibility that it could end
tonight or tomorrow is soon enough
i just want 8 minutes
to say whats on my mind
i perfectly planned it like it was the month of may
and i will lay upon your lap like the dog i am
and confess my 8 sins
to your lips and your hips
like it’s all i got
because it’s all i got
3 more days until i can say
‘we’re better off this way’
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I’ve barely known who you are
and who i am when im with you
like a cloud up in the sky
light and airy too
i’ve become a monster that loves too hard
likes too little, dies alittle
and your arms are missing
when it’s her lips im kissing
and when the cold sets in.
i could tell you now that it was all in vain
whatever that means, it all sounds the same
i thought it might mean alittle more to you
but thats nothing short of being a fool
i have loved you long
i have loved you fierce
and my lungs are sharp and riddled with fear
sometimes your name
it just comes out of my mouth
like the day you said its over
and all i did was shout
pictures, memories, put me on your shelf
so when your next girlfriend is near by
she will feel my wealth
i am sick with riches
the riches of my heart
it aches when the wind blows
and even more when the traffic slows
i can’t say this isn’t what i want
i’ve wanted it all along
and in this woods, i find myself
lost, focused and calm
i can find my way home when i think of your hands
against the trees while you played tag
you were always it
why didn’t you see it all along
you were always it
you were always the song
the beat in my wrist to make me tap along
to your words so high
and deep with pitch
i will play them back
like its all i have
and i will sing to the tune
of “happy birthday to my dearest you”
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"There is nothing rational about love. Love, love stutters when it gets nervous, love trips over its own shoelaces, love is clumsy and my heart refuses to wear a helmet."
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"You are always ticking inside of me and I dream of you more often than I don’t. My body is a dead language and you pronounce each word perfectly."
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I don’t know if I can stop you from entering my mind. I’ve tried but im thinking you’re here for a reason. Or maybe its me that can’t stop.
I wish i knew you inside out. So these words had meaning and made more sense.
I’ve seen your face a thousand times
but not like the light you shine in tonight
im holding back words like they are my own
and they’re yours
and they’ve been said
a thousands times over again.
i thought upon a time
when love was frozen in stone
a piece is slate upon our grass
in this lazy morning dew
but even rocks can come unglued
to your scent
to your back
and everything you lack
i become a witness
abused
allured
into you
onto you
unglued, unglued
i told her not to worry because the fog was brighter in this town
because the words you said hurt less here
and the thoughts were less before her
but now they resign in my brain and on my mind
like you’ve whispered them at night
through my hair, everywhere
you’ve left prints anywhere
and kissed these walls before you left
to let me know you’ll never rest
you’ll never leave and never lie
without her love you might die
and without your word, i might see
how little someone can make you seem
and i thought i saw you walking
with your back to me
i thought i saw you smile
only slightly
you were here
and im aware
your prints are everywhere
on her skin
in the kitchen
marking these walls with sin
of those nights you weren’t alone
and she held you too close
you promised her luck and have her a throne
of your love and your lies
and im the only one left alive
because your prints may leave their mark
but i still have her heart
if only for a night,
i will always fight
to look like i know
to show that i could
be the one to come unglued
over you, over you
under you
i miss home
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when your little lungs are saying hello
i say its time for you to go
its time
its right
its all yours
this air
this space
this place of gold
ive tried to trace the lines on your face
but i am never close enough to you
for you
on you
you
are
this drug
this urge to flow through you like blood
and its thick
and stolen
and lost
lead the way
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Im in the constant state of missing you
your lungs, your life, your love
its a craving better explored
to the depths of your soul and around the pours
i sing in tongue that doesnt recall in your heart
in your mind
im just a guy who wears that shirt
the one that cant hide who i am
but doesnt let you see who i want to be
who i feel in this man
this man that is scared of your lungs collapsing
i am ruining the winning with your hand in mine
and i will say its the month of may
because it was and always will be
for me, for you, for her
and i will never forgive you for that.
somedays i hate you,
others i miss you.
others i want to fuck you
others i want to hurt you.
mostly the urge to make you understand that this wasnt what i wanted
and i certainly didnt deserve this
why did you do this?
now im talkin’ in tongue that i dont understand
i think its common sense but i dont want that
i want you
i want you
i want you to feel
deep in my lungs is where you’ll find me
afraid to show the sky so blue
but in your arms i am brand new
i will sing to you
‘it’s just a time and a place
and a face you dont know’
i think its legit
but who knows anymore
your life is a race track that i cant bet on
a race that i cant compete in because my hands are tied
to this stadium chair,
to this winter away
to this love i wish would never fade
i could love you for the length of my life
for the times you say ‘this is may’
i will kiss your face and tell you its okay
may will come and go
but my body lingers in this bed
call another, but my heart isnt dead
in these sheets, in these walls,
i will hear you call my name
screaming for the month of may
and i will say its okay
but its not okay
may is another month of shame and thoughts of the fight
the kiss on your lips will be forgotten
and i will go deep until it hurts
may is a month away and i wont let you go stray.
live in my heart, live in my soul
i will forever be your score
i cant bet but i can place
in your heart, on your face
for tonight, for alittle while
until the letter comes
until the door slams
until your heart changes pace
I always hated your heart condition
ment to be a curse, but you’ve been blessed
with words and soul that can kill us all
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its how it goes and when it goes its a series of lists on the tip of your tongue
like the days of rain that we went through alone
like the fears we left when we met at the goal
by the lake, by the river
i will always dry quicker
in your heart in your mind
in your lovely lovely signs
the way you say its over
the way it makes me sober
its your air and your lungs and your almost done
and its me and its you
and its this empty room
nothing will save me from the thought of your hands
up against my frame like it’s your job.
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I thought it might have ment something
to kiss your lips and say “its okay”
but it wasn’t something you wanted
and it wasnt something i needed
i cant forget the way she felt on my hips
and what it means, ill never know
but i still wish you felt that way
on my tongue
like a bug
in the summer air
and i cringe but i laugh
because its always been okay
the way you are, they way you sing
when im old and missing love
you will be the one i think of
when im tired and need to rest my feet
you will be the message i keep
on replay
everynight
every day in the light
upon your shoulder
you don’t look older
but you’re wiser
never lose my finger tips
remember them with all you have
because its all i have
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